Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
