my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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