I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
We left the knife in your bed.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Randomize
