I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
