her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
well most of my day revolves around power hour
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
