someone get that fucking seahorse.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
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