Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
