They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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