If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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