he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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