these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
