ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
