i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
