My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
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