I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
