i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
