no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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