I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
