i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
