just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
