had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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