Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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