'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i would punch a child for taco bell
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
