Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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