I wanna passion pit in your ass
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
