I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
