She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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