do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
