I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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