Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
