By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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