apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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