But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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