My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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