i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
