The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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