I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
