Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
