She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
