Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
