I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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