then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
