check it out our google latitudes are spooning
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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