MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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