If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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