I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
