I want to make a zoo with you.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
