Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
