separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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