My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
