Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
