i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
