I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
